It is common knowledge that only two kinds of women exist in India - The Virtuous and the Sluts. These are some guidelines on how to not be an Indian slut. After all, we cannot have sluts in our 'Bharatiya Sanskar' (Indian Culture), can we?
I assure you, you don't want to be an Indian slut. Sluts, after all, will never find nice Indian grooms or get to bear their nice Indian sons. Sluts are forever condemned to pursue their individual lives, have careers, have a wardrobe not supervised by husbands / mother-in-laws and have libidos. Who in their right minds would ever want that? Not us! Therefore, we must be very, very careful not be sluts.
Step 1 - Make the word 'careful' an integral part of your existence. Be careful in your dress. Be careful when you are out on the street (Ask yourself first - 'Should I be out in the first place?') Be careful you avert your eyes and lower your gaze when you feel you are being mentally undressed by a man on the street. He can't help it, of course. Rush home immediately and closely inspect your attire. Ask yourself, 'What was I wearing that provoked him?' Make sure you identify the offending items of clothing and banish them forever. In fact, be careful and don't wear anything except traditional Indian clothing. After all, Indian culture is absolutely beyond reproach and any attention you attract is owing to the fact that you were attempting to ape western culture (The decadent and corrupt nature of any culture that isn't Indian will be explained in a separate manual)
Step 2 - Ensure you follow the '6 p.m' rule. No virtuous Indian woman is seen outside her home past that deadline. Breach it and you find yourself in dangerous slut territory. Sluts are usually seen inhabiting pubs and discotheques. Sluts are known for their audacity to consume alcohol and enjoy the company of female and male (gasp!) friends (gasp gasp!). Sluts can be identified by their provocative dress and their ability to turn any virtuous Indian man into a jelly of testosterone.
If you happen to find yourself in the vicinity of a pub; retreat by 5 meters, turn around and walk towards the nearest 'Slut-free' zone. This could be any place of religious worship or your home. Subject yourself to intense introspection. 'How did I allow myself near slut territory?', 'Why did I feel the urge to have friends?', 'Why was I outdoors in the first place?' are some of the several questions you need to ask yourself.
Note - If you find yourself mobbed by angry moral guardians before you make it to a 'Slut-free zone', allow yourself to be beaten up or groped by them. It is essential that you are punished. However, such punishment also means that you have been soiled. You must proceed to immediately remove yourself from decent society. You must not, I repeat, must NOT attempt to raise your voice against what happened. You must not allow yourself to think that any injustice has occurred. Remind yourself, 'What happened was my fault and my fault alone'.
Step 3 - Do not delude yourself into thinking that you have any identity as an individual. Remember, you will always be an Indian daughter, Indian wife and Indian mother. Any attempt to establish any other identity outside those makes you a slut. All your actions should be fully guided by what your guardian tells you. The said guardian could be anyone who is a bonafide moral guardian as annointed by the gods/ society.
If you are unsure who your local moral guardian is, walk into the nearest National Commission for Women office, police station or any administrative building accessible to you. You will receive the most helpful advice on how your individualistic ways will make you a slut along with more guidelines on how to dress carefully. Do not question the authority of your local moral guardian. Remember; your vagina and your existence is like a public graffiti wall - any moral guardian has the complete and absolute authority to imprint their opinions on it.
Step 4- If you have a daughter or son ( We prefer that you have sons. However, we are aware that sometimes accidents happen), start NOW and start young!
For daughters - It is absolutely crucial that you instill paranoia and a sense of danger about her own body; or, if you really good, you will instill in her a sense of deep shame. Failure to do so might result her in having a healthy sexuality and a strong sense of personal freedom. If done correctly, you will be successful in raising a virtuous Indian drone who will do as you say and never assert herself in any area of her life.
For sons - Indoctrinate them into thinking that as men, they are never ever to have healthy relationships with women. If they can't treat women as objects and chattel, they aren't man enough. Remember - Women are never friends or equals. They are either your mother / sister / wife or they are sluts. Encourage them to assert their ownership of women at an early age. The sooner he starts harassing women on the streets, the better! Start him off by letting him pick his sister's friends or clothes. Guide him through his ownership of his wife's body, finances and ambitions. Warn him now: If he isn't the lord and the master, he isn't man enough. Take him through the nuances of physically punishing any woman who strays into slut-dom. Soon, you should have a fully functional moral guardian who can cure and punish as many as 20-25 sluts in your neighbourhood.
Step 5- Proceed to take action at the first sign that men and women are mingling in healthy ways. It is absolutely unacceptable that they interact and enjoy each other's company as human beings. There are no friendships between men and women in Indian society. They are merely guises for carnal behaviour.
For more advice on how to become a moral guardian or virtuous woman, ask anyone in India. We are all moral guardians here and know very well how to treat our sluts.
© 2012 SHRUTI NARAYANSWAMY
I assure you, you don't want to be an Indian slut. Sluts, after all, will never find nice Indian grooms or get to bear their nice Indian sons. Sluts are forever condemned to pursue their individual lives, have careers, have a wardrobe not supervised by husbands / mother-in-laws and have libidos. Who in their right minds would ever want that? Not us! Therefore, we must be very, very careful not be sluts.
Step 1 - Make the word 'careful' an integral part of your existence. Be careful in your dress. Be careful when you are out on the street (Ask yourself first - 'Should I be out in the first place?') Be careful you avert your eyes and lower your gaze when you feel you are being mentally undressed by a man on the street. He can't help it, of course. Rush home immediately and closely inspect your attire. Ask yourself, 'What was I wearing that provoked him?' Make sure you identify the offending items of clothing and banish them forever. In fact, be careful and don't wear anything except traditional Indian clothing. After all, Indian culture is absolutely beyond reproach and any attention you attract is owing to the fact that you were attempting to ape western culture (The decadent and corrupt nature of any culture that isn't Indian will be explained in a separate manual)
Step 2 - Ensure you follow the '6 p.m' rule. No virtuous Indian woman is seen outside her home past that deadline. Breach it and you find yourself in dangerous slut territory. Sluts are usually seen inhabiting pubs and discotheques. Sluts are known for their audacity to consume alcohol and enjoy the company of female and male (gasp!) friends (gasp gasp!). Sluts can be identified by their provocative dress and their ability to turn any virtuous Indian man into a jelly of testosterone.
If you happen to find yourself in the vicinity of a pub; retreat by 5 meters, turn around and walk towards the nearest 'Slut-free' zone. This could be any place of religious worship or your home. Subject yourself to intense introspection. 'How did I allow myself near slut territory?', 'Why did I feel the urge to have friends?', 'Why was I outdoors in the first place?' are some of the several questions you need to ask yourself.
Note - If you find yourself mobbed by angry moral guardians before you make it to a 'Slut-free zone', allow yourself to be beaten up or groped by them. It is essential that you are punished. However, such punishment also means that you have been soiled. You must proceed to immediately remove yourself from decent society. You must not, I repeat, must NOT attempt to raise your voice against what happened. You must not allow yourself to think that any injustice has occurred. Remind yourself, 'What happened was my fault and my fault alone'.
Step 3 - Do not delude yourself into thinking that you have any identity as an individual. Remember, you will always be an Indian daughter, Indian wife and Indian mother. Any attempt to establish any other identity outside those makes you a slut. All your actions should be fully guided by what your guardian tells you. The said guardian could be anyone who is a bonafide moral guardian as annointed by the gods/ society.
If you are unsure who your local moral guardian is, walk into the nearest National Commission for Women office, police station or any administrative building accessible to you. You will receive the most helpful advice on how your individualistic ways will make you a slut along with more guidelines on how to dress carefully. Do not question the authority of your local moral guardian. Remember; your vagina and your existence is like a public graffiti wall - any moral guardian has the complete and absolute authority to imprint their opinions on it.
Step 4- If you have a daughter or son ( We prefer that you have sons. However, we are aware that sometimes accidents happen), start NOW and start young!
For daughters - It is absolutely crucial that you instill paranoia and a sense of danger about her own body; or, if you really good, you will instill in her a sense of deep shame. Failure to do so might result her in having a healthy sexuality and a strong sense of personal freedom. If done correctly, you will be successful in raising a virtuous Indian drone who will do as you say and never assert herself in any area of her life.
For sons - Indoctrinate them into thinking that as men, they are never ever to have healthy relationships with women. If they can't treat women as objects and chattel, they aren't man enough. Remember - Women are never friends or equals. They are either your mother / sister / wife or they are sluts. Encourage them to assert their ownership of women at an early age. The sooner he starts harassing women on the streets, the better! Start him off by letting him pick his sister's friends or clothes. Guide him through his ownership of his wife's body, finances and ambitions. Warn him now: If he isn't the lord and the master, he isn't man enough. Take him through the nuances of physically punishing any woman who strays into slut-dom. Soon, you should have a fully functional moral guardian who can cure and punish as many as 20-25 sluts in your neighbourhood.
Step 5- Proceed to take action at the first sign that men and women are mingling in healthy ways. It is absolutely unacceptable that they interact and enjoy each other's company as human beings. There are no friendships between men and women in Indian society. They are merely guises for carnal behaviour.
For more advice on how to become a moral guardian or virtuous woman, ask anyone in India. We are all moral guardians here and know very well how to treat our sluts.
© 2012 SHRUTI NARAYANSWAMY
